I live in a town where the most notable land mark is something we affectionately call the Ypsi penis. I live in a town where the local bar has a door handle 4 inches below where the standard door knob sits. I asked this question one of an old bar crony when I was barely a regular and was told that Ypsilanti used to have the largest number of midgets per capita. This owing to the plants that were around town and for some reason the smaller type person was more suited for some of them.
I live in Downtown Ypsilanti Michigan, where the historical district is really just a series of old brick buildings that have been turned into something else. Many of them make a person feel like they are looking at snipits of Downtown Detroit with big stone facades and empty buildings. Bums sit on the corner of Michigan Ave, and ask for change and cigarettes of the bar patrons. I happen to live 1 block from 4 bars, and 2 blocks from 1 bar.
Things can sometimes get weird around here. By weird I mean the friend of mine who helped me move to the neighborhood going crazy and blocking off 5 lanes of traffic with 4 traffic cones and a conga drum.
By weird I mean this....
The dead monkey I saw laying face down on the sidewalk next to the "corner store" that was to be seen minutes after I'd passed it being rocked back and forth by some odd looking woman. By weird I mean what's going on in the apartment behind my house...
A few weeks ago we ran into our land lord which was good, because that meant I didn't have to go to drop off the check to him. He told us someone would be moving in and sharing our back door - a person I've seen once, but I am not entirely sure that he's moved into this mysterious and supposed back door unit. A few days go by and I notice this oddly constructed wagon that had at least 6ft of 2x4's running along it, with a dolly that is attached to one end for wheeling and some torturous looking pieces with nails that protruded from the top. Purpose unknown. I'd seen it a few days later with smaller chops of wood being cradled in the protrusions. Okay... so I found this odd, have no idea whats going on but as the rain progressed I noticed it was no longer swimming in the pond that is our back driveway and was broken down and standing upright leaning against the side of the building. Okay - whatever he'd been doing with it, he'd done and now it was just to be around if needed.
Then things got even more odd. A bike appeared with a kart on the back. Looks like a smaller version of a hotdog cart - sans umbrella and the tasty treats, thats been put on bicycle wheels and attached to a bike for pulling.
Then the little blue Honda arrived. I didn't see it get here, I came home from work and it was backed into the spot next to where my brother parks and all the windows were down. I thought maybe it was from the members of the AA meeting in the house next door that take up our parking daily and make massive amounts of noise. Next day I get home from the office and this car is filled to the brim almost with big black trash bags - windows still down... wondering what's going on in there? Then a day later the bags are all gone, the windows have been rolled up - smart as we'd had torrential weather 3 days in a row - and the car looks normal again.
I've seen the guy in question once or twice. He whistles odd things and is oblivious to anyone being around. Has long hair and looks like the standard Ann Arbor Hippie and has a unique side pack that seems to be doubling as almost a traveling tool belt. I heard an electric saw moments before I saw him last, but still - I got nothing on whats going on in there.
That's when the shit started to appear. Came home and there was shit in the car, this time toys and random articles, milk crates, a lamp, a very ugly clay vase; no one was monitoring them and then they were gone. Not in the stolen sense of gone, but just poof gone. A day later the random assortment of items were back, but now they are sitting against the brick wall covered in plastic painters drop cloth. A day later - they're back in the car. Day after that they are back on the wall. I would assume they are back on the wall because now there is a full mattress set sitting on top of the car. Honestly - I'm wondering what the fuck?
Day passes, the Mattresses are still on the car, the items are on the wall, the long haired Hippie has not been seen. Then suddenly the mattresses are gone by the time I left for the office. Came home and they were back on top of the car. I'm starting to wonder if this apartment is the housing version of Mary Poppins' magic carpet bag. Things can go in and out and no matter how big you never know how it's happening.
As it stands now, the mattresses are gone again, and the vast majority of "stuff" (I'll be polite and call it stuff) is sitting on the trunk of the car or the ground around it covered with the plastic drop cloth with milk crates of more stuff holding the drop cloth down. Or it is sitting next to the wall uncovered.
This mystery is really making me wonder about my very eccentric land lord - and my new neighbor. Never know when that moment will come when I'll step out the back door to find a stuffed Kodiak or something. Go figure.
Song of the Moment: Thousand Foot Krutch "Broken Wing" Album: Flame in all of Us

A few weeks ago we ran into our land lord which was good, because that meant I didn't have to go to drop off the check to him. He told us someone would be moving in and sharing our back door - a person I've seen once, but I am not entirely sure that he's moved into this mysterious and supposed back door unit. A few days go by and I notice this oddly constructed wagon that had at least 6ft of 2x4's running along it, with a dolly that is attached to one end for wheeling and some torturous looking pieces with nails that protruded from the top. Purpose unknown. I'd seen it a few days later with smaller chops of wood being cradled in the protrusions. Okay... so I found this odd, have no idea whats going on but as the rain progressed I noticed it was no longer swimming in the pond that is our back driveway and was broken down and standing upright leaning against the side of the building. Okay - whatever he'd been doing with it, he'd done and now it was just to be around if needed.
Then things got even more odd. A bike appeared with a kart on the back. Looks like a smaller version of a hotdog cart - sans umbrella and the tasty treats, thats been put on bicycle wheels and attached to a bike for pulling.
Then the little blue Honda arrived. I didn't see it get here, I came home from work and it was backed into the spot next to where my brother parks and all the windows were down. I thought maybe it was from the members of the AA meeting in the house next door that take up our parking daily and make massive amounts of noise. Next day I get home from the office and this car is filled to the brim almost with big black trash bags - windows still down... wondering what's going on in there? Then a day later the bags are all gone, the windows have been rolled up - smart as we'd had torrential weather 3 days in a row - and the car looks normal again.
I've seen the guy in question once or twice. He whistles odd things and is oblivious to anyone being around. Has long hair and looks like the standard Ann Arbor Hippie and has a unique side pack that seems to be doubling as almost a traveling tool belt. I heard an electric saw moments before I saw him last, but still - I got nothing on whats going on in there.
That's when the shit started to appear. Came home and there was shit in the car, this time toys and random articles, milk crates, a lamp, a very ugly clay vase; no one was monitoring them and then they were gone. Not in the stolen sense of gone, but just poof gone. A day later the random assortment of items were back, but now they are sitting against the brick wall covered in plastic painters drop cloth. A day later - they're back in the car. Day after that they are back on the wall. I would assume they are back on the wall because now there is a full mattress set sitting on top of the car. Honestly - I'm wondering what the fuck?
Day passes, the Mattresses are still on the car, the items are on the wall, the long haired Hippie has not been seen. Then suddenly the mattresses are gone by the time I left for the office. Came home and they were back on top of the car. I'm starting to wonder if this apartment is the housing version of Mary Poppins' magic carpet bag. Things can go in and out and no matter how big you never know how it's happening.
As it stands now, the mattresses are gone again, and the vast majority of "stuff" (I'll be polite and call it stuff) is sitting on the trunk of the car or the ground around it covered with the plastic drop cloth with milk crates of more stuff holding the drop cloth down. Or it is sitting next to the wall uncovered.
This mystery is really making me wonder about my very eccentric land lord - and my new neighbor. Never know when that moment will come when I'll step out the back door to find a stuffed Kodiak or something. Go figure.
Song of the Moment: Thousand Foot Krutch "Broken Wing" Album: Flame in all of Us
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